Tapping Into Healing: Embracing Your True Self with Amy Vincze

When Not Yet Becomes Right Now (00:00)
Welcome to When Not Yet Becomes Right Now, the podcast where we dive deep into the moments of transformation, the times when not yet shifts into right now and everything changes. I'm your host, Jen Ginty, and this podcast is all about those pivotal moments in our life journeys. You know the ones, when the hesitation fades, when we take that first step, even if it feels like a leap. It's in these moments that growth and healing begins. Each episode will explore stories of resilience,

moments of clarity, and the sparks that ignite real change. From personal experiences to expert insights, we'll uncover how people navigate the complex journey we call life and come out stronger on the other side. Whether you're searching for that spark in your own life or just curious about how change unfolds for others, you're in the right place. We'll discuss the ups and downs, the breakthroughs and setbacks, and how to embrace the right now, even when it feels out of reach. Because sometimes,

The hardest part of the journey is realizing that the moment you've been waiting for has already arrived. So take a deep breath, settle in, and let's get started.

Jen (01:09)
Hello and welcome to When Not Yet Becomes Right Now. I'm your host, Jen Ginty and today I have an incredible guest with me. Her name is Amy, and Amy Vincze knows what it means to rebuild from the inside out. In her mid-40s, when everything around her was falling apart and old coping skills stopped working, she discovered the truth beneath her fear and pain, not flaws, but survival strategies. That realization and the power of EFT tapping

gave her a path to real healing. Now through her Soar with Tapping app, Amy helps others release emotional weight, transform their stories, and find peace from the inside out. Welcome, Amy.

Amy Vincze (01:54)
Thank so much for having me Jen, I'm honored to be here. Yeah.

Jen (01:56)
how I'm excited for this conversation.

So let's get into it. What is your origin story?

Amy Vincze (02:05)
Gosh, I'm just gonna highlight the important things. So when I was little, my dad was an alcoholic and he left when I was about four years old. And my little four year old brain couldn't really process that and like most kids can't.

Jen (02:10)
Yeah!

Amy Vincze (02:32)
We don't have all the information. We can't see things from different perspectives. We only see it from our little perspective. And so I decided that it was my fault and that there was something wrong with me. And so I went through the world kind of looking through that lens and always trying to get people.

to like me and try to do things that I thought were right, not at all me, but just that I thought that they would respond well to. And as you can imagine, that turned me into a perfectionist and a people pleaser. when I, but I think what I had on my side is that I was also a seeker. I've always been a seeker, always trying to understand

my own behavior as well as other people's behavior. So I would constantly try to unravel things and make sense of it in my mind. What didn't make sense to me was that I would have really sometimes irrational, what I pictured as irrational responses to things, like if somebody's joking around with me and they ⁓ make fun of me in a joking way. I could watch somebody

similar in a similar situation, laugh it off and banter back and forth, you know, but for me, it was kind of a roundabout way of affirming like my deepest fears that there really was something wrong with me. So I would have this irrational response and, you know, get all defensive and, you know, not be able to joke around about anything like that. And, and

So I was just, being a seeker helped. It helped me to understand certain things, but I wasn't making those connections yet. I was just feeling like, you know, thinking that these are all just character defects, that I'm just like far too sensitive and, you know, really irrational and defensive and whatever. At the age of 31, I was diagnosed with breast cancer and...

That kind of fast-tracked the seeker part of me, because again, I was in this place of looking at other 31-year-olds like me that have no breast cancer in their family history, in their family lines, and knowing that they're perfectly fine. So really, what is it about me that caused me to get breast cancer? And I was...

really genuinely curious about, you know, what is it about my thoughts or about my feelings or about my spirituality or my lack thereof of spirituality and all that. Like I want to my diet, like I wanted to take all those things into consideration. So I started down the diet path because I had gone to Tony Robbins and Tony is like a big proponent of eating really clean and you know,

being vegetarian, all those things. So I started going down that path. I became a nutritional therapist and a colon hydrotherapist. But then after I went through all those events, one of the crew members introduced me to tapping and I immediately kind of recognized that this was a really powerful tool and went down my own deep rabbit hole with it. I got certified really soon thereafter and

sought out my own coach. And the problem was I was having kind of limited success with it. Like some of my sessions with my coach would go really great. And I would feel a difference and feel better. And then some other sessions, they would just fall flat and maybe help in a moment. But then like the same behavior would crop up. So I didn't really understand. it was that experience you're talking about in my 40s.

where again, things were crashing all around me and I couldn't understand why I was about to get fired from my job. Like my body was in constant pain and you know, was having panic attacks like every day, you know, a really horrible, horrible time. And then I turned to tapping. I hadn't been using it for a couple of years because I got discouraged with it. But I started using it.

Jen (07:02)
Mmm.

Amy Vincze (07:14)
in a different way, I started, you know, asking myself, you know, kind of why am I failing at my job? And I'm so afraid, like this makes me so anxious that this idea of failing at my job. And then I'm like, well, why? Why is that so bad if you really hate it? Because I did. Why is that so bad? And then I kind of got underneath that and I was like, well, that would mean that I'm not actually being successful at my strategy of.

people pleasing and being a perfectionist and what would that mean? That would mean that my worst fears were actually coming true. That I, there really was something wrong with me. And that would mean that I would, people would leave like my dad.

Jen (07:56)
Yeah, you know, I going back to that early discovery of being a people pleaser, of turning into that because of something that was absolutely not your four year old fault, right? And when you got breast cancer, I did the same thing when my son was diagnosed with autism. What did I do wrong? Right? What was it? What was it that I did that made this happen?

Amy Vincze (08:09)
No, no, nothing to do with it.

yeah, yeah.

Yes, yes. ⁓

Jen (08:25)
because we start to

blame ourselves. And I don't even really know where that comes from in the people pleasing realm, but maybe it's a disappointment in ourselves that our bodies or something that is a part of our lives isn't working right. And we're blaming ourselves for that. I guess that's where the perfectionist in us comes in as well. Like I did something wrong to cause my body to have cancer.

Amy Vincze (08:40)
Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah, yeah. And that inner critic voice, right? That inner critic voice goes hand in hand with me with the people pleaser and the perfectionist. So if I'm not doing everything perfectly, then that inner critic voice comes in and goes, well, you're doing it. They know it's because you're you're lazy or it's because you're like, whatever stupid, you know, fill in the blank, I will find an adjective to put in there. ⁓

Jen (09:18)
Right, and we drive ourselves crazy on something

that was never in our control anyway.

Amy Vincze (09:23)
Yeah,

yeah. But I finally made that connection when I was, you know, in my little tapping sprint in that worst moment. I was like, my God, of course I am having anxiety attacks right now. If I, if the worst, my worst possible fear could possibly be true that people will leave me because of something being wrong with me and being

that being one of our, you know, basic, basic needs to have love and connection with people. Of course it would make me feel like literally on an emotional level, like I'm dying. Like it's not an irrational feeling. might not make sense logically, but it doesn't have to be logical. So, so I started tapping on those things. Like, of course I'm feeling this way. This is making my most

basic fears about myself, ⁓ like the probability of them being true. It's making me feel like that probability is getting higher. Of course I feel this way because of what was happening around me when I was a kid. And I took that on. I made that my way of looking at the world. in those moments, Jen, I transformed my way of looking at the world because I was able to

tap into that really core root level of the trauma that I experienced as a kid. And in those moments, I was like, my God. When you're looking through the lens of there's something being wrong with you your entire life and all of a sudden that goes away. And it's like, my God, I didn't realize the sky was blue kind of thing. And so it was a real

Jen (11:20)
Yeah.

Amy Vincze (11:22)
eye-opening moment for me, not just about myself, but about this tool and really feeling passionate about bringing this tool to the masses so that they can harness the full potential of themselves and really use it at its most powerful level and achieve really greater results than they might have had like I did, you know, those intermittent results.

getting discouraged with it, not working as much as they wanted it to. There's all of these promises out there about how wonderful tapping is, but why am I not experiencing those? This is why. This is why, because it's not going to the root level. We're just working mostly on symptoms, and behavior doesn't change when you're just working at the realist surface level. Sometimes that's necessary.

to get through your day. mean, if you've got a cut in your gushing blood, you need a band-aid to get through your day. That's what most of the tapping apps out there provide, and that's what most practitioners provide. But what I'm proposing is we use it to its fullest potential and get down to that root cause, because that's where really powerful change happens.

Jen (12:37)
There's so many modalities out there in this world now. It's incredible because I've said this before, back when I was a child, there was nothing for complex PTSD. And growing up in my 20s and 30s, it was the 80s, the 90s, early 2000s that nobody spoke about complex PTSD. Nobody spoke about PTSD outside of it being a veterans.

Amy Vincze (12:40)
I know.

Yeah.

No.

A wartime kind of, yes. Yeah.

Jen (13:07)
disease, right?

Where we find out later that there are so many different causes for complex PTSD and that complex PTSD is very different from PTSD. And that there is so many different ways of looking at the core. You know, I tell people this, like they say this about autistic people as well. You've met one person with autism.

Amy Vincze (13:21)
yes, completely.

Jen (13:36)
You've met only one person with autism. Same with people who have complex PTSD or PTSD. You've met one person. You have met just the one. Because there are a multitude of symptoms, and everyone has different ones. So it's kind of a mix and match, I guess you would say. But there were so many modalities out there that were not available back in the day.

Amy Vincze (13:52)
Mm-hmm. Absolutely. Yeah.

Jen (14:06)
For me, I do EMDR with my therapist, which has been excellent for those times where I have gone into large situations where anxiety is most definitely gonna be present. And I have also worked with tapping as well. She's taught me that when we're not doing our EMDR sessions, you can tap and that can bring about the same.

Amy Vincze (14:06)
I know.

wonderful. Yeah.

Yes.

Jen (14:34)
you know, results. So I think it's fascinating that we have these modalities and that we've only scratched the surface of many of them. And it sounds like you have really driven deep into tapping and what it can do for us.

Amy Vincze (14:36)
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Yeah, yeah. A lot of the modalities that I've come across focus more on maintenance, managing symptoms. But EMDR and tapping in particular really go a long way. They're fantastic. They work in different ways.

EMDR and tapping, they access the trauma in different ways, but they treat it kind of the same. And with the EMDR, you know, with a therapist present, it's really helpful. can access the trauma and then you they can help you move through it with your emotions and help you release it from your body in that office, that really safe office environment, which I love.

⁓ And with tapping, it accesses it a different way, but the fact that you're tapping on your body is still doing it in a safe environment because you're constantly telling that stress and fear center of your brain, it's okay to deescalate, it's okay to feel safe and calm, it's okay to feel peaceful about this. And so in the same way EMDR and tapping are rewiring

our nervous system to associate a feeling of peace and calm with something that used to really ⁓ drive up anxiety levels, which is so wonderful. But a lot of other modalities just seek to manage. this, both of these, I feel will get rid of a lot of that trauma, neutralize it at its root cause, which is.

really wonderful that we have that option available. And it's really encouraging, if this whole movement towards ⁓ accessing trauma, identifying trauma, just having an awareness of our own trauma, where before it would just get brushed under the rug and denied. I just feel like this is, you know, kind of the next frontier.

working through our emotions around these things. So it's a really exciting time.

Jen (17:15)
Yeah, give us a crass course, please, on tapping. Wonderful.

Amy Vincze (17:18)
I'd love to. I'd love to.

So tapping is really a triple threat because it uses three different, ⁓ we'll call them therapies. first there's the energetic therapy, similar to acupuncture. Obviously, instead of using needles, you are using the percussion of tapping on our meridian points.

facilitating healing in that way. In Chinese medicine, the idea is that whenever you have a pain or a fear or a limiting belief, there is a blockage in your energy system. And the needles and or the percussion of tapping will help dissipate that blockage and allow our energy to flow again. And when our energy is flowing, that's when we are in a state of healing. So

With tapping, there's also the cognitive therapy aspect because you're actively talking about what it is you want to release while you are doing the tapping. if there's ⁓ a big sense of betrayal, can just over and over say, I feel so betrayed. The hurt is overwhelming in my heart right now. And you just honor and acknowledge those feelings over and over again while you're tapping on your body.

Jen (18:41)
while you're tapping. Okay.

Amy Vincze (18:45)
And then there is the somatic element. When you are tapping on your body, you can't help but gather your energy back from worrying about the past or gathering it back from worrying about the future and really centering and focusing all of your energy in this present moment, getting yourself really grounded in your body because you are doing something physical on your body.

And so that combination of getting in this present moment where there really is no threat, right? Our threats are typically in the past or in the future. And so getting in this present moment while you're calming your nervous system and talking about what it is you want to release, all three of those things combine to create a really powerful experience.

And so it's lowering what's happening on a scientific level is when we get triggered and we have kind of an anxious moment or we have really intense emotions of some kind or even pain, that stress center in our brain gets triggered. And it is rushing cortisol through our body, trying to keep us safe. It's always trying to keep us safe, this monkey brain part of us. But we don't often...

recognize what has triggered us if it's not something completely obvious like with complex trauma or even regular PTSD. We don't often make that connection between what has triggered us and so we just know in the moment that we feel anxious or we're procrastinating and we don't know why or I want a drink.

right now and I, you know, everything was fine a second ago and now all of a sudden I'm like really anxious for a drink, something along those lines, but we've been triggered. Cortisol is rushing through our body. There's something in our subconscious spine that we're trying to keep us safe from. And so when we start tapping, we're telling that stress center in our deescalate, deescalate, deescalate. It removes cortisol from our body 43 % faster.

than if you had done nothing alone. It lowers our heart rate. It lowers our blood pressure. It increases our immune system response. And it will make us happier. So all of those things are happening in a really short period of time. And it makes it so whatever we're discussing and whatever we're talking about and feeling in those moments will neutralize really, really fast.

When I say really fast, I'll give you an example. So I had really severe lower back pain for majority of my life, over 20 years. I would do something like take laundry out of the dryer and all of a sudden I'm like, you know, and I can't walk and pain is so bad. I have to crawl to on the floor to get to the bathroom. Yep. Yeah. So I tapped on that. ⁓

Jen (21:47)
I've been there. Yep. I know that pain.

Amy Vincze (21:55)
Once I discovered the root cause, because the back pain is a symptom, and I incorporated that into what I was talking about, but once I discovered the root cause, I tapped for maybe an hour and a half to two hours, and I haven't had any back pain, any lower back pain since then. That's been seven years ago.

Jen (22:17)
So a question for you, because most of my audience is listening, so they probably need a detailed description of tapping. Like what you do, what parts of your body, how do you move your hands, that kind of thing, just because for the most part people are listening to this.

Amy Vincze (22:18)
Yes. Yes.

okay.

Yes.

OK. Will there be video also or OK. Let me go through the steps then. So the first step is rating your emotions. Whatever around whatever it is you want to release whether it's sadness or hurt or pain you're going to rate those on a scale from zero to 10. Say.

Jen (22:39)
yes, there is video also. Yeah.

Amy Vincze (23:04)
You know, the pain level in my lower back is at a nine right now. Super really, really intense. And then you're going to do what's called a setup phrase and you're going to tap on, it's called the karate chop point on your hand, which is just down from your pinky. I like to tap on both sides of my body. So I tap those two spots together and you're going to say a setup phrase three times here. Something like, even though this lower back pain is so intense.

and I'm scared that it's not gonna get better. I love and honor all my thoughts and feelings about this. Or even though this lower back pain is so intense right now, and it might have something to do with feeling vulnerable about money. I love and honor all parts of who I am completely. So, and then you say that three times.

And then you go to what's called repeater phrases and you're going to tap through all of the, ⁓ well, it doesn't have to be all, but you can tap through the rest of the acupressure points. And I'm going to preface this by saying most tapping professionals will tap on different points and none of them are wrong. There are actually a lot of them all over our bodies. These are the ones that I learned.

It doesn't make them less effective or more effective than anybody else. It just makes them the ones that I use. And I like to tap on both sides of my body because I figure out here, I might as well get the most bang for my buck. I don't know if that's really accurate to say that it works better if you tap on both sides of your body. I just do it. So the first point is like right at the beginning of your eyebrow point. And I want to also say this is

something that I encourage people to kind of be perfectionist with because if they're not tapping at the beginning of their eyebrow point and they're somewhere up in the middle of their forehead, not going to be nearly as effective. Okay.

Jen (25:08)
So

the closest part to you, like your nose. Like, yeah, on your eyebrows.

Amy Vincze (25:11)
Yes, yes, right at the beginning

of your eyebrows. So you tap there hard enough so that you feel it, not so hard that you're going to give yourself a headache, obviously. And the next point, so you say a repeater phrase there, just kind of honoring and acknowledging all the feelings about this lower back pain, that like this lower back pain is so intense. ⁓ And then you go to the side of your eye right at your temple. And you could say something like

I can't believe I wasn't more careful when I took those clothes out of the dryer. And then the next point is underneath your eye, right on top of your cheekbones. And you can say, I should know better, you know, because there's an emotional part of you that maybe is upset that you didn't do things properly.

Jen (25:59)
Okay, so at the beginning, you're acknowledging the pain or the stress point, and you're allowing yourself to say the things that you blame yourself for and say, is that what it is? I can't believe that I did that. So it's okay to choose negative phrases as you're doing this.

Amy Vincze (26:07)
Yes, yes.

Mm-hmm.

Negative phrases are encouraged at the beginning. Depending on what your number is, so zero to 10, if you're the pain is at a nine, then you honor and acknowledge all of the negative feelings about that pain until you get to a magic number. There's a magic number three or four. And that's when you can start infusing like a lot of positive statements and and really have yourself believe it.

Jen (26:26)
okay.

Amy Vincze (26:52)
at that point because you have come down on the scale from that high, high intensity. And that's when you can go, okay, now I can believe that I can let this go. And I'm gonna start saying really positive stuff at that point.

Jen (27:07)
You know what I like about it is that ability to say the negative things because, you know, with all of the toxic positivity out in the world these days, it's a relief to be able to say the negative stuff and that's okay.

Amy Vincze (27:18)
I'm so glad you said it that way, yeah.

Yeah, yeah. We're not not just slapping positive, happy smiles on top of really intense pain or hurt in your heart. Like we're not doing that. We're honoring and acknowledge. We want to feel it. We want to move through it because then when you get to the other side, then it's truly cleared. If you slap a bunch of positive, happy feelings on top of something that feels really shitty, then you're going to there's a part of you that's going to continue to feel really shitty about it.

Jen (27:57)
makes sense.

Amy Vincze (27:57)
We want to release

it from your body completely. And this is the path to doing it. It's honoring and acknowledging all of those things, letting them have their day in court, letting them be heard and honored enough that you're like, okay, now I can let it go.

Jen (28:14)
It's interesting because now I think of, in a sense, the internal family systems that I also work with with my therapist, where you are able to honor the parts of you that are negative and better understand them and speak with them. And I think that that has a great connection in a way with tapping.

Amy Vincze (28:22)
Mm-hmm.

Yes, yes.

Yes.

It truly does, yeah. This, because what I thought mistakenly at first was that tapping was going to fix me. That it was going to fix all of my character defects, that I was gonna come out of this looking pristine and, you know, super perfect. Really what it did was fill in all the holes of my Swiss cheese self.

and help me become whole again. That's what it did. So it really is that magic aspect of bringing in all of your shadows and incorporating them into who you really are and having compassion for them along the way.

Jen (29:14)
So.

Is this a type of modality that you can mix with others?

Amy Vincze (29:35)
I'm not sure what you mean by that, but what I have found from my own use is that it will heighten my ability to meditate really well because it quiets my spinning thoughts. It has allowed me to access my emotions easier, like when doing breath work. ⁓

because I'm not afraid of my emotions anymore like I used to be. ⁓ So it has given me an emotional flexibility that I never had before. It's allowed me to kind of strengthen the muscle of moving through my emotions much more gracefully, which has an effect on a lot of different modalities. but what, tell me more about what you were.

Jen (30:32)
Yeah, it was, was pretty much, yeah, that question of like, can you, knowing that it works well with meditation, because I, I myself have such a hard time with meditation. I find it very hard to get rid of the other voices in my head that are telling me you're doing this wrong. You're never going to be able to do this right. The perfectionist in me, of course, as we've been talking about and yeah.

Amy Vincze (30:34)
Okay.

yeah.

Yes. Yes.

Jen (31:01)
You know, it's interesting that I'm a huge acupuncture lover. I had back two back surgeries that left me unable to walk on my own. And yeah, and with incredible nerve pain and acupuncture was the only thing that saved me. Yeah. So knowing that that kind of works on the same points as

Amy Vincze (31:07)
Mm-hmm.

Oh wow, that's a lot.

⁓ nice.

Jen (31:30)
Tapping is really fascinating to me. Where did tapping come from? How did it really become a thing?

Amy Vincze (31:40)
So I believe it was in the late 60s, there was a psychotherapist that was working with a woman who had a severe phobia of water. And he had been working with her for a while, but was not making any headway on this phobia of hers. He was also simultaneously studying Chinese medicine.

and specifically the acupressure points. So kind of intuitively during one of his sessions with her, he said, where do you feel this fear in your body? And she said, I feel it in my stomach. And he said, well, OK, why don't you tap on your stomach meridian while talking about this fear? And she had.

one of those one minute miracles where all of sudden she was like, my God, my phobia is gone. And she ran over to the pool, apparently started splashing water in her face. And so he obviously saw that connection as a really powerful one. And he developed it into something called thought field therapy, which was rather complicated because it was using only specific meridians based on where you felt it in your body and different

you know, things that you're feeling. it was a little complicated. And then Gary Craig took that practice and turned it into what we now call EFT. He kind of engineered it in a way where we tap on all energy meridians while we're talking about what it is we want to release and using the rating system. And he really brought it into what we

what we now use today. It was still really complicated, like tapping on different fingers and the gamut points and like all of these different things. And it is really synthesized over the years to become, you know, just tapping on our 14 energy meridians and over and over again until we get that number down to a zero.

Jen (33:40)
Wow, very interesting. And I think it's exciting because it's a way of working with yourself. And it doesn't cost money. I think a lot of people shy away from various therapies because it's going to cost them. And if insurance doesn't pay it or you don't have insurance, then it's way too costly. Therapy in general.

Amy Vincze (33:42)
Yeah.

Yes.

Jen (34:09)
is expensive. learning to work with your own body and help yourself talk yourself through ⁓ fear and anxiety, that kind of thing, I think it's really important for people to learn about.

Amy Vincze (34:25)
I couldn't agree more. I love that tapping can be used anytime, anywhere. I tap on the treadmill. I tap when I'm lying in bed at night. ⁓ I continue to use my coach because there are certain things about myself that I still don't have a real strong awareness of and she's really helpful with getting that out of me. So that's where a coach becomes helpful.

⁓ but that's also why I created the app. mean, because people, I don't know that everybody has a really strong awareness of their emotions since we've never really been encouraged to engage with them. So it takes some guidance at first and some, the scripts that I created, hopefully kind of touch on all of the different aspects of whatever it is you're tapping on so that people can gain that awareness. Like.

Jen (35:06)
Yes.

Amy Vincze (35:23)
my God, that's right. I do feel that like. And one of the things that people say to me all the time is how cathartic it is to actually say the words out loud that have been maybe in the far background or spinning in their heads all these years, but to actually put a voice to them. It almost feels like, my God, I can't I can say that. Like, is that allowed? And that's one of the most ⁓

powerful parts of it too is just being able to voice it. I think getting that awareness at first is really important. And ⁓ yeah, that's why there's the guided scripts on the app. It's really helpful.

Jen (36:07)
Is it

a visual app or is it more like meditations? Okay.

Amy Vincze (36:13)
It's both. It's both.

So there is audio and there are prompts telling you where to tap and what to say. And then there's a gap so that you can repeat those words. But there's also an avatar that has a blinking light telling you where you should be tapping on your avatar if you wanted to look at the screen as well. Yeah, yeah.

Jen (36:37)
Great.

So we know as a fact that there are many women or many people I will say out there who because of childhood issues, things that had happened, we are people pleasers. We are perfectionists. What would you give as advice to a person who has grown up in that and what advice would you give them that you would have loved for your

little self to know.

Amy Vincze (37:12)
gosh. ⁓ I would have loved to know that I had just adopted a coping strategy to help me get the love and connection that I needed from my sister and from my mom. ⁓ And it was my survival strategy that I used in that moment.

But there came a time in my life where it was no longer helpful. ⁓ But unfortunately, I had decided that who I was was wrong and I needed to do things to make other people happy rather than myself. So I had to make that really strong connection and get that clarity on a visceral level before I could really...

make the changes that I needed to, ⁓ which included.

It included asking myself a lot of questions about.

what I wanted, what I wanted, ⁓ asking a lot of questions about this strategy. Is it truly really helping you? Is it truly helping you? when you make a decision for somebody else's happiness, you abandon yourself all the time. And it's no wonder you've been anxious and depressed because you are literally a shell of a person making those decisions constantly.

Jen (38:46)
You know,

a lot of people don't realize that there's more than just fight or flight. And one of the biggest that I only learned probably about less than a decade ago was fawning. And I think that's what you are describing is being a fawner, you know, that people pleaser, doing whatever you could to...

Amy Vincze (38:53)
I know. Yeah.

Yeah.

Yes, yes, yes.

Jen (39:15)
satisfy other people's needs.

Amy Vincze (39:17)
yeah, yeah. And then again, I mean, was probably like you're suggesting, I was probably in fight or flight mode constantly, either in freeze or in fawn because I would have massive bouts of procrastination, not able to move forward on things that I thought I really wanted. I'm like, why am I not doing this thing that is supposedly really good for me? It just doesn't make sense to my brain, but.

Jen (39:29)
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Yes.

Amy Vincze (39:48)
I have really come to realize that 90 % of the time I was in fight or flight mode, feeling stressed, ⁓ sometimes using that even as a badge of honor, like feeling important in my stress and my overload and overwhelm in the world. ⁓ So it's really just coming to terms with the fact that that is not kind of how we're supposed to be. We are not supposed to be in that high energy ramped up

like anxious state all the time. And 95 % of doctors agree that that is the cause of most pain and disease in our body. Like our bodies are meant to heal. We're not supposed to be in a stressed, painful state all the time. So they all work together to kind of create a perfect storm. And, ⁓

Yeah, so that I that the advice I give is to just pay attention. This isn't this isn't normal. This isn't how it's supposed to be. You're supposed to feel calm and relaxed and. Not always joyful, but. ⁓ Have moments of joy. Just like we have moments of sadness and moments of anger, like all emotions are valid.

Jen (41:05)
Yeah. Yeah.

Mm-hmm.

Amy Vincze (41:12)
I don't think that there's any negative emotions. I think that there's just ones that are uncomfortable and we haven't learned how to honor them and express them in a healthy way.

Jen (41:23)
Yeah, I preach this all the time with, so I created a doll to help people to better cope with their emotions out of my own frustrations with PTSD. And I learned through DBT, another modality, that all emotions are valid. They're there for a reason. We have shame for a reason, but

Amy Vincze (41:30)
⁓ wonderful.

Yeah.

Yes.

Jen (41:52)
when shame becomes toxic, that's when, you know, it's no longer valid, right? But we can have moments of shame and it's to educate ourselves about, you know, the world around us.

Amy Vincze (42:07)
Yeah, yeah, I think when we live in an emotion, then it's then it has become toxic, but then we're using it for a specific purpose other than moving through that emotion. And, and that is not ever healthy. But like you said, I fully believe 100 % all of our emotions are there for a reason, they're either a clue about something that needs a little bit more attention, or they're ⁓

Jen (42:13)
That's right.

Right. Right.

Amy Vincze (42:36)
alert that something feels unfair in this situation and it needs to be paid attention to but without those emotions then it's like it's a free-for-all we know we don't have any boundaries we don't have any sense of self we don't have any opportunity even to feel joy if we don't have all of those all full range of emotions yeah

Jen (43:00)
Agreed. Absolutely. So Amy, where can

we find you?

Amy Vincze (43:05)
You can find me at soarwithtapping.com if you wanted to go to my website. can, I'm ⁓ soar with tapping on all the social medias. And if you go to the Google or Apple Play stores, you can look, search for soar with tapping and find my app and your listeners can go to my website, soarwithtapping.com forward slash podcast dash special. And they'll find a code there where they can get 50 % off their first annual subscription to the app.

Jen (43:34)
Wonderful, thank you very much. I will be sure to put that in the show notes for everyone. Well, thank you so much, Amy, for coming on the show. This was so enlightening. And I truly hope that others will research and get into the tapping phenomena. And it sounds as though it's something that can help so many people through things that otherwise

Amy Vincze (43:39)
Yeah.

⁓ I'm sorry.

Jen (44:03)
can just sit and fester, I guess is what it's like.

Amy Vincze (44:07)
Mm-hmm.

Yeah, I hope people research it too. Yeah, thank you for having me.

Jen (44:13)
Thank you again.

When Not Yet Becomes Right Now (44:18)
Thank you for joining us for this episode of the podcast. This show is produced by Phoenix Freed LLC, and I'm your producer, Jen Ginty We hope you found today's conversation insightful and inspiring. If you have a story of your own about when a not yet moment became a right now, we encourage you to reach out and share it. You can find more information about being a guest on our show at whennotyetbecomesrightnow.com. Remember, you are not alone on your journey, whether it's a journey of healing,

growth or transformation. Every story matters. Thank you for listening and we'll catch you next time with another inspiring episode.